Ruining me from the inside out.
I held it in my mouth
until nausea overtook me,
belching you out
into the crook of my arm
while downstairs in the yard
a swan gave live birth
to a motley collection of headless
wingless eyeless lumps –
they were our children.
I swore to myself that
as soon as the linger
of bleach left my tongue
down the stairs to the yard I would go
to get them ready for school:
like you said, I’d make a great mother.