My interest in the Olympics this year (as in all the others) is limited and parochial to the point of irrelevancy. If I watch for too long, I’ll cry at the ads and hate myself every time I consider the millions of dollars wasted so that we could absorb branding by osmosis while we all played happy families on a planet rife with pain. Because, obviously, I am not being a part of the fun.
But I was looking for Anna Meares. For whom my soft spot overrides all anti-Olympic sentiment. Particularly in the Victoria Pendelton blah blah*. Why you may ask?
Let’s not hear it from me, take it from Lady T, who rocks the most amazing idiolect the planet has ever known. This is what I hear when I read Teagan, who had this to say about the V&A. Fuck correcting her grammar, I know you want me to wholly kiss you.
Alright “Queen Vic” is a wickedsick track cyclist, she’s a babe, she’s had an impressive career an is finishing it on top and is the “face of the Games” and rahrahrah but you know what, being an iconic Olympian is supposed to be about more than being the best and you know what else, so Anna Meares “bombed” in yesterday’s keiren but she doesn’t have a fan base due to her face rather than her athleticism, shes also smashed world records and won epic races an medals, man she fucking broke her neck and worked back to elite competition in just 7 months, she never criticized other female cyclists for being “masculine” (cos that’s important? Thanks Vicky), she never sold her image to mens mags to prove she can be athletic and still conform to lame conventional stereotypes of femininity, she never talked shit about rivals cos her legs do all the talking, she seems utterly incapable of arrogance, and she’s quoted all fucken over the shop by younger aussie cyclists as being the most supportive and encouraging team mate and mentor to the less experienced.
So yeah I admire Pendleton, but I’m truly inspired by Meares, an I wish the euro papers would stop acting as tho one keiren validates the career of one and renders defunct the other cos it’s fucking redunculous and I still think Meares is the tits.
*yes Andrew, you are still allowed to like Vicky and Brad and Chris if you want to.